So, I have been training hard for the past three months and I have managed to lose about 11 lbs so far, which is a lot considering I had already lost over 40 lbs since my ‘peak fatness’ as I call it. My grand total is now approaching the 50 lb mark, which is exciting. One not-so-exciting side effect of losing weight is that I no longer have the voluptuous bosom that I felt so blessed with before. My boobies no longer fill my bras as I have come down an entire cup size, and they are still shrinking, rapidly. For a split second today, I actually thought, “maybe being chubby with big boobs is better” and then, thankfully, I quickly snapped out of it. After speaking with a few other girls I know who have lost a lot of weight, when you lose fat, you loose boob-age and that’s just a fact of the fitness life. But what about all those fitness models whose breasts are bursting out of their tight, rainbow-coloured Nike sports bras? Turns out, breast implants are pretty common in the fitness model world. Now, I am not so sure that running up the stair stepper with a big pair of fake boobies bouncing up and down would be very comfortable, but for many women, it’s all about aesthetics. And a raging sick pack of abs doesn’t look so great when your chest is completely flat.
Losing a cup size or two (although, let’s hope it’s only one because if they get any smaller, I won’t even need a bra) is not the end of the world. The most important thing is that I feel so much better. My body feels stronger and fitter; I can run faster, I can lift heavier and I can do large sets of real push-ups (knees off the ground) and burpees without feeling like I am going to die. A couple of weeks ago, I managed to do 101 burpees in five minutes flat. It felt awesome. Spin classes are just a warm-up for me most days and I have so much more energy than before. Dare I say, even the sugar cravings are starting to disappear. This could be due to my hormones levelling out after stopping the pill, or it could be due to my increase in protein intake, but I am pleased that the cravings have decreased in intensity and in frequency. The gym is now part of my daily routine and I only take one rest day a week, which is either the day I am on my feet non-stop at work or if I’m studying, then I go for a moderate run. It isn’t that I am pushing myself too hard; I just don’t feel like I need or want a rest day. My body and mind love exercise and I want to do it because it just makes me feel so damn good. So, with all the positive side effects of losing weight, eating clean, and lifting weights, I think I can deal with my boobs getting a little bit smaller.
The changes in my body got me thinking; why do I care so much about how I look? Why do I feel the incessant need to virtually perfect my various body parts? Beauty. What does it mean? The Oxford Dictionary provides a definition that goes as follows: “a combination of qualities, such as shape, colour, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.” So, although Dove and other companies have attempted to re-define beauty, it seems like there is a strong emphasis on the physical aspect of this concept. But, the issue is how we define beauty, as a society and more importantly, the media. If we define beauty as fake boobs, fake tan, fake blonde hair, fake eyelashes, and fake everything-else, then there is not much hope for us as human beings. Also, whose ‘sight’ are we trying to please? Are we trying to please strangers, our friends, our family, our loved ones, or ourselves? The only person that we should be trying to please is the person in the mirror. Stop trying to please everyone else, you will slowly go insane. The only person’s opinion who you should be concerned with is your own. Whether you have big hips, thick thighs, long legs, broad shoulders, skinny arms, big calves, or whatever you are blessed with; love it and don’t try to hide it. If we all looked the same, the world would be a dull, beige, lifeless place. We need colour and diversity. Beauty is undefinable, because everybody’s perception of beauty is different. Think about that for a second and next time you look in the mirror, even if you don’t believe that you are beautiful, know that there are probably a million people in the world who think that you are.